Post by Hegh'Var on Aug 20, 2007 14:32:44 GMT -5
Life's Rules
1. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.
2. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,” Thyroid problem?"
3. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
4. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
5. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
6. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
7. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected
.
8. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
9. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
11. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
12. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
14. No one ever says "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
15. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
16. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
17. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
18. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
1. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.
2. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,” Thyroid problem?"
3. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
4. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
5. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
6. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
7. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected
.
8. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
9. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
11. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
12. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
14. No one ever says "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
15. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
16. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
17. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
18. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
